January 2025

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Dear Reader,

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I hope each of you reading this, and your families, are safe and well. And if you’re facing difficulties, I hope you have lots of support from family, friends and community. Establishing and maintaining relationships, which leads to mutual support, is crucial and it takes time. Unfortunately, we live in a culture that does not value the time and effort required for this essential element of human life.

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Thinking about the work of maintaining relationships and about other unseen work drove me to finally dig into this book that’s been sitting in my “to read” stack. Once I started reading, I knew I wanted to prioritize it, and I got the audio version, too, so I can listen while I walk and drive: “The Three Mothers: How the Mothers of Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, and James Baldwin Shaped a Nation” by Anna Malaika Tubbs.

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Dr. Tubbs is a sociologist, and points out that Martin Luther King, Sr. is often credited with influencing his famous son, while his mother is ignored. Yet Dr. Tubbs explains that it was MLK Jr.’s maternal grandparents who established the Ebenezer Baptist Church and ensured that their daughter, Alberta, was well-educated, active and grounded in their church and community.

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When Alberta married her husband, he was not yet the educated man and ordained minister he would become. Because she got married, she had to leave her job as a teacher (laws that changed only in the mid-1960s). She tutored her husband as he continued his education; for decades she taught church members and her own children. Tubbs recounts Alberta King’s many leadership roles in her church and community. She was the organist and choir director at the renowned Ebenezer Baptist Church. She was an organizer and activist in local, national and international organizations.

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Dr. Tubbs gave an inspiring critique of our culture's erasure of mothers in her book and in her 12-minute TEDtalk: "We’re misrepresenting or completely neglecting mothers in the stories we tell—both on an interpersonal level as well as in the media—it’s time to change that and when we do, policy will follow." She asks: "What if we celebrated at-home moms as the essential members of our society that they are, rather than belittling their role?”

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As part of our work in 2025, we’ll be exploring some of the current cultural discussions about families: mothers and fathers. We’ll be looking closely at some recently introduced language, including: trad wives, working fathers, ambitious women and the "power pause," fair play, the mental and emotional load, lead parent, default parent, and more.

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While there's no substitute for a robust community of family, friends and neighbors, an online community can have much to offer. We have found a way to host a space free of the chaos and problematic behavior found on many social media platforms. Please join us!

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In community,

Cathy Myers

cmyers@familyandhome.org

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P.S. Family and Home Community is built in Mighty (formerly Mighty Networks). We ask new members to answer a few questions in order to screen out fake accounts.

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There are lots of resources for play and other activities, as well as for parenting help and life challenges, on our website: Resources listings.

We are very grateful to the

generous supporters who made

end-of-year donations!

Please forward this newsletter to family and friends, that would be a great help!

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